


this bed is so cold

by ordinarylittleme



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 16:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19948936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ordinarylittleme/pseuds/ordinarylittleme





	this bed is so cold

Night is her savior. A dark blanket that conceals the world of light entirely, hiding the wicked deeds going on behind the veil. She likes how nobody can quite see themselves as clearly as they can during the day, it gives them room to lie. To deceive. To trick themselves, perhaps.

Right now, she is pressed very tightly to a man she once burned for. She smells, once again, ashes and smoke and tattered old fabric. In the dark, she can fade away until she is naught but billions and billions of atoms rotting in quintillions to the quintillionth powers of atoms that created Earth. She can disappear from those who long for her head on a platter, those who would love her if she lived up to their expectations, those who claw to have a piece of her. And he, he has never fallen into any of those categories. He is a soothing and troubling memento from a past she does not want to remember, and she shudders against him, ice against his fire.

During the night, it is so quiet that she can feel her own thoughts scratching at the interior of her mind; they leave behind raw, bloody trails as she shoves them into boxes that she later seals but never discards, so that they lurk beneath her consciousness like he does. Her heart drops to the pit of her stomach as he offers her dart-shaped smiles as sweet as sugar, and she tries to burn away the memories in a roaring fire at the back of her mind. Burn the sin-dark lies and the love that has long since festered. But she has never been a fire-starter.

She wonders _why_ she is so guilty. She had loved him once, and he had loved her, before they chose their morals and principles over each other. If anyone else found out, she would be shamed, but she is already ashamed of herself. He might be punished for his weakness, and the thought of that makes her heart clench. She can imagine everyone's reactions to the truth. Esme would play the heartbroken, vindictive harpy to perfection - she had never liked her, and she supposed she wouldn't start now. Turning over on the wooden bed, she shudders and presses one final kiss to his shoulder before tucking away her _dirty little secret_ away in an ornate chest on her head.


End file.
